TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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