It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
