You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
