He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
