Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i came on her dog
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
