is your mom at the bar?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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