Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
