Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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