Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize