so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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