Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
