we have officially lost it.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
