why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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