i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
