I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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