alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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