When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
