Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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