idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
