Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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