Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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