You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
How external is "for external use only"?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
