I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
