3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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