i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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