Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
