so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
