i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
