hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
