the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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