The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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