I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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