Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
