No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
