not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize