So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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