Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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