Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize