I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
