sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
