even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
