Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
