hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize