Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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