therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
