would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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