Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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