I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
