dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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