her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
