just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize