Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
