Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
