I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
