My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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