she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize