just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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