I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
