This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
